Acerina Cruz

I have always been weary of business ventures selling themselves as human interest stories to get free media promotion (see, for example, the hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles about LGBT travel, including all the ink spilled on Caribbean and Latin American LGBT sea cruises). It's the main reason, other than I haven't been blogging as much as of late, that I haven't written about what is being sold as the first-ever LGBT retirement recreational center in all of Latin America.

But then came the actual opening of the center last week in Buenos Aires and video posted online by La Nación ("First center for retired gays opens", Oct. 1, 2009). It moved me enough to write about it today.

The center was the idea of a lesbian couple who happen to be psychologists, Graciela Palestra and Silvina Tealdi. They founded the LGBT-rights organization Puerta Abierta ten years ago and have now decided to open el Centro Puerta Abierta a la Diversidad (The Open Door to Diversity Center).

The Center, described as having bright white walls, several large social rooms, smaller therapy and one-on-one counseling rooms, a kitchen, a balcony and a grilling area, was designed to make it a fun space, according to the founders. They also say they have received over fifty inquiries from people interested in becoming members.

On the video posted online, La Nación interviews Dr. Palestra and also talk to two members: Norma Castillo and her partner of 30 years Ramona Arévalo. Other members were encouraged to talk to media, they say, but none were willing to speak openly about their sexuality to a reporter or in front of a camera. Ms. Castillo, who is the president of the Center, says "it's not easy to get riled up to talk about their sexuality; society judges".

Here is a translated transcript of the interview:

NORMA CASTILLO: I was 35 years old...
REPORTER: And did you have a boyfriend before...?
NC: I was married... I was married. And so was she... I was homophobic! And later, when I went to a psychologist and began to look back, and see myself and to see things, that's when I realized that I was burying it all up. That my... Honestly, I thought I was heterosexual...
RAMONA ARÉVALO: I was married, I have a son, male, but I didn't know this, that I'd be attracted to a woman as the years passed by, no?
REPORTER: When did you discover that you liked women?
RA: [Laughs] When I saw her... [the couple laugh]
REPORTER: Did you know she was the love of your life? [NC laughs]
RA: Possibly, I didn't know at the moment, but we both began to build it, no? [...]
RA: When they are much older, it's harder for them to say that they are gay.
NC: So they go to a regular retirement home and, when a woman who is single arrives, they look for a boyfriend [laughs] and so, she cannot say 'No, I don't want to have a boyfriend" [laughs].
GRACIELA BALESTRA: "Puerta Abierta a La Diversidad" [Open Door to Diversity] is the first center for pensioned and retired lesbians and gays in the Republic of Argentina, and - we also believe - in Latin America. The mission is to have a place, indeed, for people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender seniors, so they can have their own place, get together as couples, get out of a solitary life. There is a lot of loneliness among older people. [...]
REPORTER to RA: How was telling your son...
RA: No. There was no problem. I told him, "I have a relationship with her". He told me: "Well, mommy, it was you; Perhaps it could have been my dad; So I won't make it an problem", he said. He didn't have any problems.
GB: We offer psychotherapy specializing on homosexuality and we are welcoming to family members: Sons, fathers, mothers, also, of gays and lesbians. Couples...
NC: I told you, it is very difficukt for older people, because one drags behind many taboos, a lot of fear about what people will say. Plus, you also have to have a bit of courage because, to go against the current, in whatever it is, is always difficult.
GB: One tries to help in constructing this path to coming out of the closet, and to be increasingly authentic everywhere they go. It's not easy. Really, there is a lot of help needed.

I had a good "crabbing" night with my girlfriends last night. Ever since my maid left two months ago, i hardly go out ALONE to dine or yam cha with my friends. My two boys will always tag along, as they don't really want to follow the new maid and new maid still not very sure how to handle my two boys. My two boys also a big bully, they know who-to-bully!!!!!!!!! *faint*

Thursday is "homework" night, and i also want to meet up with my girlfriends, they are my college friends till now, we hardly meet up but do keep in touch through e mail or FB or calls. Finish work, i rush home, FIRST thing i ask my boys to quickly finish their homework, i told them i want to bring them out. While doing homework i think twice, if i bring them out, sure they will bored and want to go home early. I successful to "brian wash" them and let me go out alone, i told them to play with the cousins at home and let the maid put them to sleep.

We are having dinner @ Robson Heights Restaurant at Taman Seputeh. I was late again, due to the bad traffic!! When i reached at the restaurant, Irene and Jackie already there. Before we start our dinner, something happen to "spice" up our night. While we are yakking happily, suddenly someone come to our table and carry a durian ask us want to buy or not, i told him we don't want. The durian seller is a young guy but with GANGSTER look, he keep asking why we don't want to buy, he said " you did not try, how you know not nice? Once you try, you will fall in love with it!!!" I wanted to tell him, i don't take durian and not that i don't want to buy, but i didn't said it out, look at his gangster face already make us scared. There is a few of them in the restaurant, walk around and ask the patrons to buy durian. Later on, they got chase away by the restaurant owner or captain in a polite way, but the durian seller give them a "scary" stare, like telling the restaurant owner, you wait and see!!! Not long, they come back again, but not carry any durians, they went to the counter and "talk" to the owner, i don't know what is the conversation, then they walked out again. Then walk in again, talk over the counter again, then walk out. My back was facing the main entrance, suddenly we heard a loud sound, i trun around, and saw the durian seller, they are throwing the tables and chairs!!! Outside the restaurant got some patrons also (non air cond session), i think all of us got shock to see this scene! Just like watching those HK movies in real life!!!! The restaurant staffs all run out and like want to put up a fight but luckily the durian sellers went off! Phew....lucky i didn't bring my two boys, quite scary lei!

We had a good time yakking and crabbing!! We left around 10.30pm, reach home my two boys already slept. Hope our next gathering won't take another year!!LOL!!